The Journey--Step 1

Ok. So the first step in this journey is a slightly embarrassing/humiliating one. I went to the Dr the other day and he wants me to do a stress test (based on my family history of heart disease). In order to do so I must know my exact weight. That's where the humiliation comes in. I have apparently let myself grow beyond the bounds of the largest home scale I can find. So they nurses told me I needed to go to a meat packing plant, a post office, or shipping store or somewhere with a large commercial scale (a la Biggest Loser weigh-in scale). I feel stupid walking into a post office and giving them the scenario. It boggles my mind that the hospital doesn't have one, but they claim there's only goes to the point of most of the top-end personal-use scales (around 430-450 lbs).
UGH! Now I need to find a way to suck it up and get weighed. The humiliation will be short-lived and at least I'll never have to enter that building again. If anyone has a lead on a good place to go for this scale, let me know.
BTW, I appreciate all the support I'm getting for this. But if you feel like judging me for my life's decisions that have gotten me to this point, keep it to yourself, please. I don't need people calling me fat, obese, HUGE, or anything else. I know where I am and while I"m not proud of it, I am working to change it. I may not ever be able to run a triathlon or ride a bike (my apologies to all my cyclist and runner friends and relatives). I've made my choices in life and now must live with the consequences. Nothing will be served by your telling me what I should or shouldn't have done differently. Let me move on from here. If you don't want to be FB friends with me, that's your choice. I am who I am, and I am not defined by the external appearance. Those who truly know me, know that I am a kind, loving, sensitive guy who is just doing his best to get through life.
Thanks for listening.

The Long and Arduous Journey...Explained


So here's the thing...
and this goes for everyone who plans to support me in this journey...
I don't do Fad Diets. What works for others has not worked for me. I go the plain old "eat right and exercise right" route. I may get ornery and nasty along the way, but I do appreciate the support. Sometimes all I need is a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or some applause. Please be patient with me and do NOT take it personally if I don't use your ideas.
I have a lot of experience with various weight loss programs and the only one that has been successful for me is the one where I just do it with eating less (and more healthy), counting calories, and exercising. Please don't try to sell me on the wonders of chocolate, Acai berries, powdered chili/eggs/pancakes/etc, or juice/shakes. None of them fit my style.
I don't eat because I'm hungry, I eat because I feel like eating. Sometimes it's out of boredom, other times it's because of stress, and other times it's just plain force of habit. Getting me to "feel full" hasn't worked. I think that trigger is missing from my brain.
I can't spend money on this either, which is why I like to use the free gym at work and just modify my habits. Since most insurance companies in Utah are stupid, bariatric surgery of any kind is out of the question, too. (Gastric Bypass, Lap Band, etc). I need to do this spending as little extra $$ as possible. I have 6 kids, one of which is preparing to leave on a mission for two years, another of which is in his senior year of HS and will be heading off to college soon, so that's where most of my extra funds go.
I do appreciate everyone who wishes to join me on this journey. But I can tell you now, it's going to require some true (not fair-weather) friendship. I can be difficult, stubborn, lazy and overall a pain in the tuckus to work with. My schedule isn't always conducive to going to the gym at convenient times, and my health doesn't allow me to do all the Pilates, Tae Bo, P90X stuff. I just have to do basic cardio and basic weights.
Thank you all who dare to venture forth with me. Please be patient and know that I love and care for each of you no matter how I may act along the journey. Hopefully the end justifies the means.
Here we go.
--Adam

The Long and Arduous Journey

I'm starting a journey. Not to some exotic location or to a cool museum or anything, but a journey to a healthier me. I call it a journey because I know it is not a destination, but rather a long, and often difficult trip. There are lots of hills and valleys, twists and turns in the road ahead, and I may often be the sole traveler (at least within view) on that road. It is a journey I have to take, though. My kids are growing up. My health has taken a series of hits lately (nothing serious, but still scary) and I'm not getting any younger.

I need to lose some weight. For those that don't know me or haven't seen me in a while, I have become the highest category of Gabriel Iglesias's Fatness Scale...also known as "DAAAYUMMMM!!" :) It's time I got back in shape a bit.

I've done this before, but this time I'm doing something different. I'm creating this blog to help chronicle my struggles and my victories. I have often found that a lot of problems could be solved by just talking through things and the time I was most successful along the journey was when I was meeting regularly with a Diet Counselor. She mainly just provided a listening ear, occasional support and tips, and a comfortable place to sit and talk.

Hopefully, by making this small change to my weight loss efforts, I can see the changes I'm seeking.

It takes a TON of courage for me to do this. I tend to be someone who plays things "close to the vest". I am uncomfortable with sharing personal details. Perhaps, by forcing myself to open up a bit and allowing others a small glimpse into this part of my life, I can help myself (and maybe even someone else) to succeed where I have failed in the past.

I am sensitive, though I often mask that with humor. I notice every small stare from children in the store, park, mall, church, school or elsewhere. I like to joke to break the tension, but deep down, there's a part of me that hurts. So, if you would like to join me in this journey, please do so. You are welcome along any time.

Here are my stats (as best I know them right now...see a later post for more details): I am 6'7" (203 cm) tall. I weigh well over 450 lbs. I have Diabetes, Hypertension, High Cholesterol and peripheral Neuropathy. I have suffered a partial toe amputation, I have had Charcot foot twice and Cellulitis in my legs more times than I wish to count. But, ultimately my heart is as big as my body. I love all people and want to be loved by all.

Thanks for listening.